‘You are meaner than your demons, colder than your pain and braver than your last thought.’
I understand something I didn’t as a teenager. We can be on anti-depressants or in therapy and still experience moments so sharply brilliant that we laugh until our chests hurt. We can fret over living with our parents until our thirties and still receive a hug from a friend that is filled with such love that life is, momentarily, fixed and whole once more.
To my playschool kindred spirit whom I will never do the disservice of forgetting. To my primary school best friend who indulged all of my creative whims with a beautiful, open mind. To my secondary school brother-in-arms who gave me permission to present as exactly myself each day without exception. To my university soul sister, who breathes glitter and electric love to this day. To the friends of old, who’s imprints do not fade.
As a child, I was always one to feel guilt quickly and regret often. My mother uttered; 'Just let it go, Jen' more times than I can remember. Now, with a somewhat genetic complex for guilt and anxiety, I have noticed the toll that 'cancel culture' and social media is having on my own mind.
I don't remember the first time I thought that I would die from this sickness. But I do remember the first time I hoped I would.
On that day, a day when a fluid definition of success flows through our veins, I know that we will cheer louder for each other than anyone else because truly, we'll have earned it, deserving a time where our creativity knows no bounds.
If I am the combination of a body-mind-soul triad and I believe that the soul is the largest component of us, that informs the health of the body and the mind, why do I make every decision based on what the body wants and what the mind has been nurtured by society to believe? Why I am I determining my worth, my actions with the top 10% of my pyramid and not the bottom 90%?
My journey of acceptance and relationship with my body has been, like so many, a very hilly ride where the depths have sunken to lows I can barely think of and the highs have offered breathtaking views of glory of Self.
Welcome to 2019 - year of new possibilities and opportunities which we had in 2018 also! Perhaps now it's time for me to stop looking at the tick of a clock to take my heed, and start taking life into my own hands? Let's see how 2019 unfolds. The Achievement Addiction Do you have life … Continue reading The Achievement Addiction
Was that condemnation of a stranger's littering only an opportunity to remind ourselves of just how good and moral we are, by way of rid ourselves of responsibility over it?